If you want a laugh, go to Tod Goldberg's blog. He has a fine example of what to do with hate mail.
Just go there. You will laugh.
2 weeks ago
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Medieval Pennsylvania
This is the 21st century, isn't it? Women do have rights, don't they? A doctor in Lebanon Country, Pa, doesn't think so.
The doctor was quoted as saying:
And obviously, he is more concerned with the possible creation of life that the welfare of the woman. And why would that be? Why is this such a dilemma? Perhaps it is because a woman's life or welfare is less important than her serving her purpose. To procreate.
Or maybe he thinks we live in Afghanistan, where a woman who is raped is accused of adultery.
And I guess is doesn't matter that the "woman" involved is a child. Or that she had forced intercourse. Or that she was brutalized in a way that most rape victims describe as a "little death". That she will never look at the world or people in the same way. That she will never really trust again. If you want to read a first person account of what rape does to a woman, go to BB's blog, The Den of the Biting Beaver. She explains it more elegantly than I ever could.
The concern here is that this doctor is forcing his beliefs on his patients. And while one might question that a patient can go to another doctor, this guy is an emergency room physician. Most people going into an emergency room don't have a choice. That sort of if the definition of an emergency.
My beliefs about abortion have always been if you don't like abortion, don't have one. Personally, I'm not completely comfortable with abortion, but I am less comfortable with anyone dictating what a person should do with her own body. Especially a rape victim.
There is a bill being introduced in the Pennsylvania house to require hospitals to rectify this. Personally, if you're a physician who doesn't like emergency contraceptives, then you shouldn't be working an emergency room.
A firestorm of controversy has erupted over a young woman who was denied emergency contraception after she said she was raped.
The emergency room doctor in this case said it is against his religious beliefs to give out what has been called the morning after pill, even after a rape. The morning after pill is a high dose of birth control medicine that can prevent pregnancy.
The doctor was quoted as saying:
Dr. Martin Gish, a Mennonite, was quoted in a local newspaper saying, "The dilemma I have is the whole rape issue. Which side are you more concerned with? Are you more concerned about the mother or the life that was possibly created? That's my dilemma."Reading between the lines, it would seem that the doctor has a problem with rape. I'm not sure what the "dilemma" is.
And obviously, he is more concerned with the possible creation of life that the welfare of the woman. And why would that be? Why is this such a dilemma? Perhaps it is because a woman's life or welfare is less important than her serving her purpose. To procreate.
Or maybe he thinks we live in Afghanistan, where a woman who is raped is accused of adultery.
And I guess is doesn't matter that the "woman" involved is a child. Or that she had forced intercourse. Or that she was brutalized in a way that most rape victims describe as a "little death". That she will never look at the world or people in the same way. That she will never really trust again. If you want to read a first person account of what rape does to a woman, go to BB's blog, The Den of the Biting Beaver. She explains it more elegantly than I ever could.
The concern here is that this doctor is forcing his beliefs on his patients. And while one might question that a patient can go to another doctor, this guy is an emergency room physician. Most people going into an emergency room don't have a choice. That sort of if the definition of an emergency.
My beliefs about abortion have always been if you don't like abortion, don't have one. Personally, I'm not completely comfortable with abortion, but I am less comfortable with anyone dictating what a person should do with her own body. Especially a rape victim.
There is a bill being introduced in the Pennsylvania house to require hospitals to rectify this. Personally, if you're a physician who doesn't like emergency contraceptives, then you shouldn't be working an emergency room.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Sunflowers
I'd always felt that sunflowers had been overdone in the past few years. I mean, after Van Gogh, why bother?
But Mother Nature is the true artist, and here are a few of my sunflowers from my garden.
big yellow flowers
But Mother Nature is the true artist, and here are a few of my sunflowers from my garden.
big yellow flowers
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Jesus hates your thighs
Darling Daughter wanted to go camping with her friends. Camping is something I enjoyed at her age (14), but hate now. I felt guilty depriving her of this experience. So when the opportunity presented itself, I was quite happy.
The downside is that the camp is a church camp. Now we are spiritual people, but not religious. Not for lack of trying, I'm a non-practicing Catholic, Lutheran, Wiccan, and Neo-nonsensical pagan.
The particular church involved in this camp is the Mormon church. Now you may wonder I would allow my daughter to attend a camp that is run by one of the more strict and conservative religious organizations.
Well it wasn't just an opportunity for her to live for a week without a blow dryer and makeup. First reason: The family that runs the camp are very good friends of mine. And they are a nice family. Regardless of what I may think of their religion, they are loving families who take care and nurture one another.
Second reason: I want my kid to be tolerant of others. Tolerance gets a bad rap, but I believe that tolerance is the solution to prejudice. Of course, tolerance is not a blanket to accept any behavior. But even though I think most religious people are full of shit, as long as they don't hurt anyone, or become a pain in the ass about it, or try to make laws so that I have to follow their rules, it's Ok with me if they want to be full of shit. I'll tolerate it.
Now this camp has rules, one of which was a "modesty standard". The girls are not allowed to wear shorts above their knees, only one piece bathing suits, no tank tops or sleeveless shirts and no belly shirts or halters. I thought this would be a deal breaker for my daughter, because, much to my disappointment, she is the fashion goddess. But she surprised me and said it didn't matter, because she really wanted to go to the camp, and didn't care about the clothing.
So off we went to shop for camping supplies and modest clothing. While shopping in Foreman Mills, darling daughter picked up a cute tank and short set. I said, "Put that down, don't you know that Jesus hates your thighs? And your shoulders too." Then she grabbed a halter and said, "Can't buy that, Jesus hates my stomach."
We continued throughout the store, commenting on what Jesus would not approve. I'm not sure what the other shoppers thought of our commentary, but we were cracking each other up.
Blasphemy can be a great topic for mother-daughter bonding.
The downside is that the camp is a church camp. Now we are spiritual people, but not religious. Not for lack of trying, I'm a non-practicing Catholic, Lutheran, Wiccan, and Neo-nonsensical pagan.
The particular church involved in this camp is the Mormon church. Now you may wonder I would allow my daughter to attend a camp that is run by one of the more strict and conservative religious organizations.
Well it wasn't just an opportunity for her to live for a week without a blow dryer and makeup. First reason: The family that runs the camp are very good friends of mine. And they are a nice family. Regardless of what I may think of their religion, they are loving families who take care and nurture one another.
Second reason: I want my kid to be tolerant of others. Tolerance gets a bad rap, but I believe that tolerance is the solution to prejudice. Of course, tolerance is not a blanket to accept any behavior. But even though I think most religious people are full of shit, as long as they don't hurt anyone, or become a pain in the ass about it, or try to make laws so that I have to follow their rules, it's Ok with me if they want to be full of shit. I'll tolerate it.
Now this camp has rules, one of which was a "modesty standard". The girls are not allowed to wear shorts above their knees, only one piece bathing suits, no tank tops or sleeveless shirts and no belly shirts or halters. I thought this would be a deal breaker for my daughter, because, much to my disappointment, she is the fashion goddess. But she surprised me and said it didn't matter, because she really wanted to go to the camp, and didn't care about the clothing.
So off we went to shop for camping supplies and modest clothing. While shopping in Foreman Mills, darling daughter picked up a cute tank and short set. I said, "Put that down, don't you know that Jesus hates your thighs? And your shoulders too." Then she grabbed a halter and said, "Can't buy that, Jesus hates my stomach."
We continued throughout the store, commenting on what Jesus would not approve. I'm not sure what the other shoppers thought of our commentary, but we were cracking each other up.
Blasphemy can be a great topic for mother-daughter bonding.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Gone...But just for a little while
I'm back.
I didn't die, or get sick. Nor did I win the lottery or run away on a spur of the moment vacation. Unfortunately, I wasn't consumed in writing my novel, either.
I was depressed.
And as is my way, I shut down. Not like you see on television or in the movies where someone gets so depressed they can't get out of bed. I got up and went to work, took care of my kid, kept appointments. But that was it. I did the bare minimum that I had to do. I was surviving, but not really living. This is what I do when depression hits me. And I do that until it passes (which it always does--thank the gods!).
June 25 was the 9th anniversary of my husband's death.
I don't know why the grief overpowered me this year. But it did. Entirely. It was surprising because I thought I had absorbed the grief. That I had internalized it. That being a widow had become such a part of me that the sadness, while always there, had just become a facet of my personality.
Once again, I was wrong.
July is usually a good month for me. My daughter's birthday and mine are in July. Also, the date that my daughter's adoption was finalized is in July. Those are happy dates. But the depression continued.
The only extraneous thing I did was work my garden, particularly the compost pile. Now it may sound odd, but I enjoy composting as much as gardening. Every time I turn my compost, I thank the earth for what it has given me, and offer the return of the nutrients. Of course, part of me says, "Hey, you're playing with garbage", but it doesn't deter me.
If I get a chance, I'll post some pictures of my garden. It's not huge or particularly noteworthy, except that I'm a city girl, and this is my first venture into horticulture.
Something about the plants growing out of the earth, makes me feel insignificant and wondrous. Either that, or I'm spending too much time in the sun.
I didn't die, or get sick. Nor did I win the lottery or run away on a spur of the moment vacation. Unfortunately, I wasn't consumed in writing my novel, either.
I was depressed.
And as is my way, I shut down. Not like you see on television or in the movies where someone gets so depressed they can't get out of bed. I got up and went to work, took care of my kid, kept appointments. But that was it. I did the bare minimum that I had to do. I was surviving, but not really living. This is what I do when depression hits me. And I do that until it passes (which it always does--thank the gods!).
June 25 was the 9th anniversary of my husband's death.
I don't know why the grief overpowered me this year. But it did. Entirely. It was surprising because I thought I had absorbed the grief. That I had internalized it. That being a widow had become such a part of me that the sadness, while always there, had just become a facet of my personality.
Once again, I was wrong.
July is usually a good month for me. My daughter's birthday and mine are in July. Also, the date that my daughter's adoption was finalized is in July. Those are happy dates. But the depression continued.
The only extraneous thing I did was work my garden, particularly the compost pile. Now it may sound odd, but I enjoy composting as much as gardening. Every time I turn my compost, I thank the earth for what it has given me, and offer the return of the nutrients. Of course, part of me says, "Hey, you're playing with garbage", but it doesn't deter me.
If I get a chance, I'll post some pictures of my garden. It's not huge or particularly noteworthy, except that I'm a city girl, and this is my first venture into horticulture.
Something about the plants growing out of the earth, makes me feel insignificant and wondrous. Either that, or I'm spending too much time in the sun.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Weekend in Philly PT 2
I had one bizarre moment during my weekend at the writer's conference in Philadelphia. If you read the post below, you'll remember that I took a train to Philly each day. I had to get a 7 am train to get to the conference by 9 am. The nice thing is that I can easily sleep on the train.
Saturday morning, I woke to what I thought was a nightmare, then I thought maybe it was a flashback, then I realized it was just the gods playing a joke on me.
I had boarded the train and settled in for a nap. I like trains. They have big comfortable seats. The gentle motion is like a boat on a calm sea. I can't really read on a train (motion sickness) or do any other kind of work, so sleeping is my commuting activity. I always hope I don't snore.
I was sure I was dreaming. I am a vivid dreamer, and many times, my dreams have a soundtrack. But this time, it had to be a nightmare. As I came out of my slumber, I heard:
Make new friends,
But keep the old,
One is silver
And the other gold.
It was being sung in a round. This was followed by the Jeep Song, Cowboy Joe, and One Bottle of Pop (also being sung in a round). Now I was awake, or at least I thought I was. The mostly empty train was full. Full of Girl Scouts!
I thought this must be a flashback of some sort. All those years I spent in the girl scouts, at girl scout camp, singing these simple-minded songs. It was some sort of karmic illusion. If I closed my eyes, would they go away?
No, it wasn't a flashback, I was on an hour long train ride with about 50 girl scouts. And they were singing.
Saturday morning, I woke to what I thought was a nightmare, then I thought maybe it was a flashback, then I realized it was just the gods playing a joke on me.
I had boarded the train and settled in for a nap. I like trains. They have big comfortable seats. The gentle motion is like a boat on a calm sea. I can't really read on a train (motion sickness) or do any other kind of work, so sleeping is my commuting activity. I always hope I don't snore.
I was sure I was dreaming. I am a vivid dreamer, and many times, my dreams have a soundtrack. But this time, it had to be a nightmare. As I came out of my slumber, I heard:
Make new friends,
But keep the old,
One is silver
And the other gold.
It was being sung in a round. This was followed by the Jeep Song, Cowboy Joe, and One Bottle of Pop (also being sung in a round). Now I was awake, or at least I thought I was. The mostly empty train was full. Full of Girl Scouts!
I thought this must be a flashback of some sort. All those years I spent in the girl scouts, at girl scout camp, singing these simple-minded songs. It was some sort of karmic illusion. If I closed my eyes, would they go away?
No, it wasn't a flashback, I was on an hour long train ride with about 50 girl scouts. And they were singing.
New Template
This is the new template. I didn't move all of my customizations over yet, but of course none of them are documented, so it's a pain in the ass.
And I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this template.
And I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this template.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Weekend in Philly
I believe I've fully recovered from my weekend extravaganza at the Philadelphia Writer's Conference. It was a wonderful conference, exceedingly so, because I got a scholarship for it from my writers group.
Unfortunately, I did not have the money for a hotel room, I commuted each day. Which wasn't too unfortunate, because the regional rail line is a great way to travel to the city.
The PWC is different than other conferences I've attended. The major sessions were 1 hour on each of the 3 days of the conference. That truly made a difference. Too many times these sessions are too short to achieve any depth. Issues are glossed over and there is no time for discussion.
On Friday they had the agent/editor appointments. I signed up for the agent who represented children's lit. After I introduced myself, I started my pitch. She immediately interrupted to tell me she did not represent picture books. Not to be daunted (and because I was hyped up on adrenaline and caffeine) I asked if she would mind listening to my pitch and give me suggestions. She agreed. After my pitch, she did not offer suggestions, she asked to see the manuscript. Although she does not represent PBs, she wants to read it to possibly pass on to a co-worker that does PBs (do literary agents work like real estate agents? If an agent facilitates a sale, do they get a cut from the other agent?). I was beside myself! But I was smart, since I only used about 3 of my allotted 5 minutes, I went over my "Writing Business Plan" with her and asked her advice.
One interesting tidbit she passed on is that she reads writer's blogs to see if they are crazy. This was not the first agent I heard say that. And I'm pretty sure crazy is a euphemism for "pain in the ass" or "impossible to work with".
On Sunday, I found out that I had won the "Wall of Words" for poetry competition. For those who are unaware, this is common at conferences. Writers can place a one page piece on the appropriate wall (fiction, non-fiction, poetry). Name of the back so all are anonymous. Everyone gets to vote. So I was pretty stoked. People who were not related to me liked my work! Yeah me!
If you have an opportunity to attend a con, don't miss it. I've been to 2 and they have been unbelievably helpful.
I'll post more later.
Tags: Writing conference
Tags: Philadelphia Writers Conference
Unfortunately, I did not have the money for a hotel room, I commuted each day. Which wasn't too unfortunate, because the regional rail line is a great way to travel to the city.
The PWC is different than other conferences I've attended. The major sessions were 1 hour on each of the 3 days of the conference. That truly made a difference. Too many times these sessions are too short to achieve any depth. Issues are glossed over and there is no time for discussion.
On Friday they had the agent/editor appointments. I signed up for the agent who represented children's lit. After I introduced myself, I started my pitch. She immediately interrupted to tell me she did not represent picture books. Not to be daunted (and because I was hyped up on adrenaline and caffeine) I asked if she would mind listening to my pitch and give me suggestions. She agreed. After my pitch, she did not offer suggestions, she asked to see the manuscript. Although she does not represent PBs, she wants to read it to possibly pass on to a co-worker that does PBs (do literary agents work like real estate agents? If an agent facilitates a sale, do they get a cut from the other agent?). I was beside myself! But I was smart, since I only used about 3 of my allotted 5 minutes, I went over my "Writing Business Plan" with her and asked her advice.
One interesting tidbit she passed on is that she reads writer's blogs to see if they are crazy. This was not the first agent I heard say that. And I'm pretty sure crazy is a euphemism for "pain in the ass" or "impossible to work with".
On Sunday, I found out that I had won the "Wall of Words" for poetry competition. For those who are unaware, this is common at conferences. Writers can place a one page piece on the appropriate wall (fiction, non-fiction, poetry). Name of the back so all are anonymous. Everyone gets to vote. So I was pretty stoked. People who were not related to me liked my work! Yeah me!
If you have an opportunity to attend a con, don't miss it. I've been to 2 and they have been unbelievably helpful.
I'll post more later.
Tags: Writing conference
Tags: Philadelphia Writers Conference
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Blogging for LGTB families
Today is "Blogging for LGTB families" day. I didn't know about it until I read Terrance's post on Republic of T. Now you might ask why would a straight woman care about lesbian and gay families.
Because an attack on any type of family is an attack on all families. Including mine.
Why should these families be treated differently? What makes the man/woman/child family somehow superior than any other combination?
I think the problem lies with the conservatives. Now maybe you believe that the man/woman family is best. I'm not going to argue that. But having an opinion doesn't make it so. So in typical conservative style, they seek to criminalize behavior they can't control. Control, I believe, is the keyword there.
My opinion is that when these conservatives (particularly christian ones) see g&l families flourishing, they feel threatened. They feel threatened because they must believe their belief system is right, absolutely and unquestionably, or their entire belief system falls apart.
So if they can't convince people to be straight for Jesus, they will marginalize, penalize and criminalize the g&l family.
I've found that g&l families tend to be excellent families. Maybe because they have to fight for being recognized as a family, they take it more seriously. I don't know. But I do know that 10 years as a foster parent, I've seen no kids taken from gay families and put into foster care. However, I've seen many gay families open their doors to foster children and adopting them.
Something I don't see these conservative Christians doing.
Tags: Blogging for LGBT Families
Because an attack on any type of family is an attack on all families. Including mine.
Why should these families be treated differently? What makes the man/woman/child family somehow superior than any other combination?
I think the problem lies with the conservatives. Now maybe you believe that the man/woman family is best. I'm not going to argue that. But having an opinion doesn't make it so. So in typical conservative style, they seek to criminalize behavior they can't control. Control, I believe, is the keyword there.
My opinion is that when these conservatives (particularly christian ones) see g&l families flourishing, they feel threatened. They feel threatened because they must believe their belief system is right, absolutely and unquestionably, or their entire belief system falls apart.
So if they can't convince people to be straight for Jesus, they will marginalize, penalize and criminalize the g&l family.
I've found that g&l families tend to be excellent families. Maybe because they have to fight for being recognized as a family, they take it more seriously. I don't know. But I do know that 10 years as a foster parent, I've seen no kids taken from gay families and put into foster care. However, I've seen many gay families open their doors to foster children and adopting them.
Something I don't see these conservative Christians doing.
Tags: Blogging for LGBT Families
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Meme
This is from Ben, at Dictionopolis at Digitopolis
10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Autumn
Favorite Color: Hunter Green
Favorite Time: Pre-Dawn
Favorite Food: Poptarts, strawberry, no frosting
Favorite Drink: Jack and Coke
Favorite Ice Cream: Hard serve, chocolate marshmallow
Favorite Place: Key West, FL
Favorite Sport: Figure Skating
Favorite Actor: Dennis Quaid
Favorite Actress: Jodie Foster
9 Currents
Current Feeling: Pleased
Current Drink: Ice Tea
Current Time: 3:09
Current Show on TV: TV is off
Current Mobile used: The one that my company pays for
Current Windows Open: None, central air here
Current Underwear: Yes
Current Clothes: Yes
Current Thought: Is it time to go home yet?
8 Firsts
First Nickname: Petunia (don't ask)
First Kiss: Can't remember his name...
First Crush: Dave S
First Best Friend: Deneen M
First Vehicle I Drove: Plymouth Duster, 1972
First Job: at a daycamp
First Date: Bobby ? took me to the mall
First Pet: A simese cat named Reena
7 Lasts
Last Drink: Latte
Last Kiss: From my daughter
Last Meal: Sausage McMuffin
Last Web Site Visited: Dell
Last Movie Watched: War of the Worlds
Last Phone Call: A psychologist who had to have his laptop fixed today, absolutely, needs it tonight. Called to tell me he will pick it up tomorrow.
Watched: Sopranos
6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes
Have You Ever Been Drunk: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: yes
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: yes
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: yes.
5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: My boss's best friend calling him names.
Things On Your Bed: Not at home now, but probably a Beagle and a Cat
Things You Ate Today: Sausage McMuffin, and a banana
Things You Do When You Are Bored: walk the dog
4 Places You Have Been Today
McDonalds
Borders
My office
My daughter's school
3 Things On Your Desk Right Now:
Laptops (lots and lots of laptops)
Software
Laptop Harddrives
Screwdrivers and other assorted tools
2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: Do I have to make a choice?
Hot or Cold: Hot
1 Place You Want To Visit
Grand Canyon
Tagged: anyone who reads this
10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Autumn
Favorite Color: Hunter Green
Favorite Time: Pre-Dawn
Favorite Food: Poptarts, strawberry, no frosting
Favorite Drink: Jack and Coke
Favorite Ice Cream: Hard serve, chocolate marshmallow
Favorite Place: Key West, FL
Favorite Sport: Figure Skating
Favorite Actor: Dennis Quaid
Favorite Actress: Jodie Foster
9 Currents
Current Feeling: Pleased
Current Drink: Ice Tea
Current Time: 3:09
Current Show on TV: TV is off
Current Mobile used: The one that my company pays for
Current Windows Open: None, central air here
Current Underwear: Yes
Current Clothes: Yes
Current Thought: Is it time to go home yet?
8 Firsts
First Nickname: Petunia (don't ask)
First Kiss: Can't remember his name...
First Crush: Dave S
First Best Friend: Deneen M
First Vehicle I Drove: Plymouth Duster, 1972
First Job: at a daycamp
First Date: Bobby ? took me to the mall
First Pet: A simese cat named Reena
7 Lasts
Last Drink: Latte
Last Kiss: From my daughter
Last Meal: Sausage McMuffin
Last Web Site Visited: Dell
Last Movie Watched: War of the Worlds
Last Phone Call: A psychologist who had to have his laptop fixed today, absolutely, needs it tonight. Called to tell me he will pick it up tomorrow.
Watched: Sopranos
6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes
Have You Ever Been Drunk: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: yes
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: yes
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: yes.
5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: My boss's best friend calling him names.
Things On Your Bed: Not at home now, but probably a Beagle and a Cat
Things You Ate Today: Sausage McMuffin, and a banana
Things You Do When You Are Bored: walk the dog
4 Places You Have Been Today
McDonalds
Borders
My office
My daughter's school
3 Things On Your Desk Right Now:
Laptops (lots and lots of laptops)
Software
Laptop Harddrives
Screwdrivers and other assorted tools
2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: Do I have to make a choice?
Hot or Cold: Hot
1 Place You Want To Visit
Grand Canyon
Tagged: anyone who reads this
Monday, May 29, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I couldn't help myself
I had to share this. I got it from Love America, Hate Bush. Click the pic.Tags: Bush Bloopers, George Bush
Saturday, May 27, 2006
It's a Small World (after all)
I had a first happen to me today. I met a blogger whose blog I have on my blogroll.
I was at the monthly meeting of my writers group. The speaker was an agent, and her topic was promotion. Not a pressing issue for me, as I can't get any interest in my books, and I'm concentrating of short fiction.
However, an agent is someone who I should listen to, regardless of the topic. And there were quite a few tidbits of info about querying and finding an agent. When she mentioned her agency's name, I recognized it from the blog.
This gave me something to talk with her about after the lecture, which is great, because I suck at small talk. However, with a point of reference, I can talk to anyone. Without that, I tend to sound like a sychophant. I didn't get to speak with her in detail, as many of our members wanted her attention. Just a hello, what is the name of your blog? Agent Obsucra? I read you! I just put you on my blog roll.
I might have remembered to thank her (but I may not have--my bad!).
But it was pretty damn cool to accidently meet someone whose blog I read.
Tags: bloggingpublishing
I was at the monthly meeting of my writers group. The speaker was an agent, and her topic was promotion. Not a pressing issue for me, as I can't get any interest in my books, and I'm concentrating of short fiction.
However, an agent is someone who I should listen to, regardless of the topic. And there were quite a few tidbits of info about querying and finding an agent. When she mentioned her agency's name, I recognized it from the blog.
This gave me something to talk with her about after the lecture, which is great, because I suck at small talk. However, with a point of reference, I can talk to anyone. Without that, I tend to sound like a sychophant. I didn't get to speak with her in detail, as many of our members wanted her attention. Just a hello, what is the name of your blog? Agent Obsucra? I read you! I just put you on my blog roll.
I might have remembered to thank her (but I may not have--my bad!).
But it was pretty damn cool to accidently meet someone whose blog I read.
Tags: bloggingpublishing
Friday, May 26, 2006
Last to know
As usual, something is going on, and I'm elsewhere.
For the unaware (like I was), the Absolute Write was abandoned by their web host because Barbara Bauer, an agent of questionable repute, got pissed when she was listed as one of the 20 worst agents.
I knew that I couldn't get onto AW, but I thought my work filters had caught it. The site is up again, but unfortunately, the forums are not. And there were some great threads there!
Now it seems that this Barbara Bauer's biggest crime is that she hasn't sold any work (or refuses to acknowledge any sales). This would be like a real estate agent not wanting anyone to know that she is the the million dollar sales club. FWIU, this is like the agents resume, and is SOP.
I hope the forums are up soon. But I am spending more time writing since they went down.
For the unaware (like I was), the Absolute Write was abandoned by their web host because Barbara Bauer, an agent of questionable repute, got pissed when she was listed as one of the 20 worst agents.
I knew that I couldn't get onto AW, but I thought my work filters had caught it. The site is up again, but unfortunately, the forums are not. And there were some great threads there!
Now it seems that this Barbara Bauer's biggest crime is that she hasn't sold any work (or refuses to acknowledge any sales). This would be like a real estate agent not wanting anyone to know that she is the the million dollar sales club. FWIU, this is like the agents resume, and is SOP.
I hope the forums are up soon. But I am spending more time writing since they went down.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Sometimes I am ashamed to be American
This is one of the cruelest and meanest parts of our nation's history. I have to warn you that the images are disturbing.
But the idea that someone though taking pictures of lynchings was a good idea is disturbing. Then they made the pictures into postcards, MANY OF WHICH WENT THROUGH OUR POSTAL SYSTEM, is worse.
As discussed as I was by the images, I had to look, I had to read about the victims (if for no other reason than to acknowledge they were victims and owed some respect and not to be forgotten.) Because as horrifying as it is to realized this is part of our countries (and therefore its citizens) history, the very fact that our horrifying acts can be publicized, is the best thing about this country.
I'll never forget those images. I dare anyone to check out the website and not be moved.
Searching through America's past for the last 25 years, collector James Allen uncovered an extraordinary visual legacy: photographs and postcards taken as souvenirs at lynchings throughout America.
But the idea that someone though taking pictures of lynchings was a good idea is disturbing. Then they made the pictures into postcards, MANY OF WHICH WENT THROUGH OUR POSTAL SYSTEM, is worse.
As discussed as I was by the images, I had to look, I had to read about the victims (if for no other reason than to acknowledge they were victims and owed some respect and not to be forgotten.) Because as horrifying as it is to realized this is part of our countries (and therefore its citizens) history, the very fact that our horrifying acts can be publicized, is the best thing about this country.
I'll never forget those images. I dare anyone to check out the website and not be moved.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Where do you get off behaving that way with women you don't even know?
Biting Beaver blogged about fuckability and what happens to a woman when men stare and objectify them:
Interesting enough, another one of my favorite bloggers, F Train 2 Brooklyn, posted this:
For some reason, women are supposed to be flattered that a man would deem the woman worthy of his attention. And if the woman objects, there is something wrong with her. She is a bitch, a ballbreaker, frigid, a cunt, and a dyke.
But, I don't really believe that. I don't think men are flattering us. They are reminding us of where our place is. They are reminding us that we are sub-human, objects, just 3 holes and a pair of tits. A warm, wet place for their penis.
There is a definite correlation between this behavior, and the behavior of whites during civil rights. The more rights that blacks were able to achieve, the more shit they had to put up with, until black people finally said, enough! The men would not be called "boy", their women would not be treated as whores, or worse, animals.
Do women need to face this behavior head on? Confront it when we see it? Make it uncomfortable for men to do this to us?
Because its more than just words. There is a barely veiled threat from some of these men, that they can do what they want, and we can't stop them.
Before you jump on my comments, I know that this not true of all men who behave misogynisticly, and that some men just slip into the misogynistic behavior because they think it's OK. But remember, women can't tell which man is going to be apologetic or embarrassed, and which is going to follow us to our cars.
Remember, many black men were lynched for not staying "in their place".
And Thelma and Louise were well armed and had nothing left to lose.
To these men I was simply a convenient ass to stare at while they were in line. I could be a Nobel Prize winner, but they wouldn't know and they sure as fuck wouldn't care.
I was reminded that despite how capable I felt; despite being proud of myself for battling the triggers and the anxiety and being able to get my car working again I was still nothing but a feature in an afternoon porn flick in their heads. I wanted to turn around and punch the three of them, I wanted to turn and scream at them to knock it the fuck off. I wanted to turn around and ask them why they felt as though they had a right to use my body to fantasize about while they stood in line. I wanted to ask them who gave them the right to make me uncomfortable, to make me lose my good mood. I wanted to ask them all of these things.
In the end I just stood there. My mood deflated and my place in society brought back home in stark clarity. All of the joy I had just experienced, all of the elation at fixing my car and the feeling of accomplishment ran right out the window. To these men and to so many others like them, I was a mere afternoon diversion.
Interesting enough, another one of my favorite bloggers, F Train 2 Brooklyn, posted this:
The three men at the table were trying to engage the three of us in conversation. We're all married, so we're empowered by the fact that we are taken and do not care what single men think. We turned down their drink offer and they referred to us as bitches. I almost snapped and reacted to them. My two companions were getting ready to turn on them too.This kind of behavior begs for a Thelma & Louise moment. Because I don't think there is a woman alive who hasn't had to deal with the male priviledge.
I said, "Don't let them turn us into her. She's the bitch. Just think: what would Princess Diana have done?"
"Exactly," said companion #1. "Carolyn Kennedy would walk away."
"Hilary Rodham Clinton would too," said companion #2. Then we laughed, because she'd probably bitchslap the lot of them.
Instead of snapping, we ignored them and enjoyed the rest of our time. As we were standing to leave, the boyfriend said loudly, "So long, bitches."
Why couldn't he just leave it alone? We turned up our noses, flipped our hair, and gracefully excited.
Here's my problem - it was a decent place in downtown Manhattan, we are three attractive, unassuming, intelligent women just out for a quiet afternoon minding our own business - so why did he feel it was his right to try and ruin it? And ruin his daft girlfriends afternoon? Why are there men like him in the world?
For some reason, women are supposed to be flattered that a man would deem the woman worthy of his attention. And if the woman objects, there is something wrong with her. She is a bitch, a ballbreaker, frigid, a cunt, and a dyke.
But, I don't really believe that. I don't think men are flattering us. They are reminding us of where our place is. They are reminding us that we are sub-human, objects, just 3 holes and a pair of tits. A warm, wet place for their penis.
There is a definite correlation between this behavior, and the behavior of whites during civil rights. The more rights that blacks were able to achieve, the more shit they had to put up with, until black people finally said, enough! The men would not be called "boy", their women would not be treated as whores, or worse, animals.
Do women need to face this behavior head on? Confront it when we see it? Make it uncomfortable for men to do this to us?
Because its more than just words. There is a barely veiled threat from some of these men, that they can do what they want, and we can't stop them.
Before you jump on my comments, I know that this not true of all men who behave misogynisticly, and that some men just slip into the misogynistic behavior because they think it's OK. But remember, women can't tell which man is going to be apologetic or embarrassed, and which is going to follow us to our cars.
Remember, many black men were lynched for not staying "in their place".
And Thelma and Louise were well armed and had nothing left to lose.
Monday, May 15, 2006
I hate TV, now more than ever
I'm going to have to stop reading Lee Goldberg's blog, even though it is one of the best writing blogs around.
Now he tells us that Surface and Invasion aren't coming back next season. I never really got into Invasion, but Surface was one of my favs. I think I liked Surface because I grew up at the seashore. As a child, I was certain that there were horrible creatures in the ocean. And those creatures wanted nothing more than to eat us.
Surface tapped those fears, along with my fears of a Tsunami (I know, New Jersey is not known for tsunami's, but I always used to look at that horizon and wonder.) After the season finale (which now looks like the series finale) I was looking forward to how they would resolve this sea monster thing.
It was bad enough that Threshold was cancelled with no resolution, but now Surface? I guess my viewing tastes are out in left field. I used to have a policy to never watch a new TV show, until I knew if it had been renewed for the next season. I think I'll have to reinstate that policy, because I can't trust the networks to continue the shows that I like.
Now he tells us that Surface and Invasion aren't coming back next season. I never really got into Invasion, but Surface was one of my favs. I think I liked Surface because I grew up at the seashore. As a child, I was certain that there were horrible creatures in the ocean. And those creatures wanted nothing more than to eat us.
Surface tapped those fears, along with my fears of a Tsunami (I know, New Jersey is not known for tsunami's, but I always used to look at that horizon and wonder.) After the season finale (which now looks like the series finale) I was looking forward to how they would resolve this sea monster thing.
It was bad enough that Threshold was cancelled with no resolution, but now Surface? I guess my viewing tastes are out in left field. I used to have a policy to never watch a new TV show, until I knew if it had been renewed for the next season. I think I'll have to reinstate that policy, because I can't trust the networks to continue the shows that I like.
Friday, May 12, 2006
I really hate TV
There are only about 4 or 5 shows on TV that I care about, and maybe 5 more that I can tolerate. Now, according Lee Goldberg's blog, it looks like HBO is going to drop Deadwood.
No official word yet, but:
I really hope this is just a rumor, or perhaps a publicity stunt.
No official word yet, but:
Deadwood Dead?
Variety reports that HBO has let their contractual options lapse on the cast of DEADWOOD, which begins airing its third season in a few weeks. This decision frees the cast to pursue jobs elsewhere, which strongly suggests that HBO has lost interest in a fourth season of the show before the third season has even aired.
HBO insisted that conversations about future cycles of "Deadwood" are ongoing, and Milch told the Boston Globe in the April 30 issue that he had always planned to exit the series after the fourth season; he has been reported as saying that he'd envisioned each season as a year, and the actual Deadwood camp was destroyed at the end of four.
"If a series is successful, the commercial interest is in keeping it on, even after the creative interest is in ending it," Milch told the Globe. "With 'Deadwood,' my intention is to end at the end of the fourth season. I can't speak for anyone else, but that's where I'm getting off the bus."
I really hope this is just a rumor, or perhaps a publicity stunt.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Chutzpah to the Extreme
There is Chutzpah and then there is CHUTZPAH.
This guy, Al- Fatar King, owns a couple of Philadelphia Newsstands. He obviously didn't like competition, or his competitors locations, or just his competitors.
So he hired a crane to move those offending newsstands to other parts of the city. When the folks showed up for work, their place of employment was gone.
I bet every business owner wishes they could just move their competition to somewhere else!
Mr. King is a jerk. And he is also an idiot (he gave his real name to the crane company, who promptly point to Mr. King when the cops showed up). But, Damn!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Creepy, beyond all belief
I would seem that in Oklahoma, a 45 year old man is advertising for a bride. And he is willing to pay $1,000. Tacky, but creepy? Wait, it gets worse.
The "woman" in question is to be a virgin between the ages of 12-24.
--12? You ask? That must be a typo.
No, I answer. It is not a typo. Here is the story.
What kind of 45 year old would want a 12 year old wife? Michael Thelemann of Bray, OK, that's who. Neighbors think he is a pedophile, and I tend to agree. Mr. Thelemann doesn't understand, he said:
To him, a wife is nothing more than a commodity. From the ages, he is not looking for a partner, he is looking for a subordinate.
And what if he found this virginal, child bride? Who would get the money? I doubt she would! Wouldn't that be like paying the money to himself (as the head of his family)? I have a feeling he is looking to pay a parent. A parent who would sell their child in marriage.
And it is this attitude that upsets me. This is why we live in a rape culture. Biting Beaver has a great post on that subject, and I'm not going to repeat it. Follow the link and read it, if you care. I must warn, she is prone to hyperbole and doesn't have a shade of grey anywhere on her blog. I don't believe everything in that post is true all of the time, but I know all of it is true some of the time.
But whether you believe the rape culture surrounds us, or is just a small, insanely sick portion of society, the roots of this behavior is the belief that women can be bought and sold, or taken.
Doesn't matter if the man is paying a grand, buying dinner, or just the belief that being a man makes him in control of any woman he desires, it doesn't matter. It is attitudes like Mr. Thelemann's that it so damn dangerous for women.
The "woman" in question is to be a virgin between the ages of 12-24.
--12? You ask? That must be a typo.
No, I answer. It is not a typo. Here is the story.
What kind of 45 year old would want a 12 year old wife? Michael Thelemann of Bray, OK, that's who. Neighbors think he is a pedophile, and I tend to agree. Mr. Thelemann doesn't understand, he said:
Google this creepaziod and you'll find over 120 news stories, but what concerns me is that no one is objecting to him "buying" a wife.I'm just somebody who is getting up there in years, and I'm looking for a born-again, God-fearing virgin between the ages of 12 and 24 who can bear me children," said Thelemann, who was divorced in 1989. "What's the problem? I just think I have some wicked neighbors."
To him, a wife is nothing more than a commodity. From the ages, he is not looking for a partner, he is looking for a subordinate.
And what if he found this virginal, child bride? Who would get the money? I doubt she would! Wouldn't that be like paying the money to himself (as the head of his family)? I have a feeling he is looking to pay a parent. A parent who would sell their child in marriage.
And it is this attitude that upsets me. This is why we live in a rape culture. Biting Beaver has a great post on that subject, and I'm not going to repeat it. Follow the link and read it, if you care. I must warn, she is prone to hyperbole and doesn't have a shade of grey anywhere on her blog. I don't believe everything in that post is true all of the time, but I know all of it is true some of the time.
But whether you believe the rape culture surrounds us, or is just a small, insanely sick portion of society, the roots of this behavior is the belief that women can be bought and sold, or taken.
Doesn't matter if the man is paying a grand, buying dinner, or just the belief that being a man makes him in control of any woman he desires, it doesn't matter. It is attitudes like Mr. Thelemann's that it so damn dangerous for women.
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