Morons with Signs

I haven't blogged about the Tea Bag party, mostly because it is too easy to mock them. The name alone makes me giggle. Tea Baggers. Particularly since they seem to be conservative Republican who, I believe, would find tea bagging abhorrent. Yeah, I know you've heard all the jokes before, which is why I've avoided them.

But now I understand how these people could have taken such a ridiculous name. From Morons with Signs I found this woman. I guess she doesn't like her medicare. Maybe she thinks that if they cut off medicare, there will be fewer people at the Senior Center on bingo night.

No "Pubic" Option? Oh, I have to object to that one. I like the pubic option.

Here is another one who doesn't like the pubic option. I think the pubic option leads to children.

But would someone please explain to the Granny in the picture below what tea bagging means, and that most Christians would consider the act described on her sign to be blasphemous. Besides that, it looks like she is soliciting. I know that it is hard to talk to your grandmother about sex, but we've got to stop these women from walking the streets like this!

Ereaders and technology

I like books.

I like how books feel. I like how they smell. I like how they look on my shelf.

I don't like ereaders. I've seen most of them, even the Kindle, in person. I just don't see the point.

• Yes, they are portable, but so is a book and I don't have to worry about battery life in my books.
• Yes, you can take hundreds of books with you, but I've never wanted to do that.
• Yes, you can go on vacation and not carry books in your suitcase, but I've never been anywhere that I couldn't go and buy a new book.
• Yes, you can get your email on it, but I really don't want or need my email in my book. I have a laptop, thank you.
• Yes, you can order your books from the device, but I like going to the bookstore. I like grabbing a bunch of books and sitting down to see which one I will purchase.
• Yes, Amazon allows you to preview the book. But what are you previewing? What sections? Do they really give you a fair preview? Or is it like a movie trailer, where you are shown the only good scenes of the movie?
• And if I lose a book, I've only lost the cost of one book, not the gadget and all the books on it.

I don't like how the words look on the screen. I don't like how it feels in my hand. The extras that come with it are unnecessary. Books work fine.

I've seen a new technology push out old ones. Vinyl to CD to digital files for music. VCRs to DVD. But in both of those cases, the new product was vastly improved. I buy music files online, but I still miss the liner notes from the vinyl albums. And I didn't by a DVD player until The Lord of the Rings came out. That was the first movie that I really wanted to see in the quality of DVD and I wanted the extras.

And there is the cost. Why should I pay for a device to read books when I have eyes and hands. That's all I need.

Before you write me off as a technophobe, please remember that I work in Information Technology, and have for about 20 years. I do not fear technology, I'm the person who has to make it work, and I find that stimulating and exciting.

Perhaps that is part of the problem. A large part of my job is integration of technology. When I look at a new gadget or device, my first thought is not: Look how cool this is! No, I think: How will this help? What problem will it solve? What problems will it create? Do we need this or do our users just think it it "cool"?

The Kindle is priced at $259. Now that isn't a fortune, but since it doesn't solve any problems, have any great features that I want, and I have a kid in college, I don't see the advantage. Plus, there is no guarantee that the device will be backwards compatible. Will the file formats change with technology changes? Will I be forced to replace all of my content because I need a new device? Will I need to buy a new device to get new content?

Perhaps the next generation of ereaders will provide enough benefits to sway me. When cell phones first came out they were expensive to buy and use. The companies used the marketing plan of free phones. They provided the phone at no cost and made up their money on service. I still use a free phone today. Will the ereader go this way? That could make the difference in it being a niche item or not.

I do see a market for ereaders: College text books. Cheap text books that don't break your arms carrying them around. I would go for that market, if I were in the ereader business.

Lil' Cthulhu

With thanks to Et in acaedia blog. where I found this.

So cute, yet so wrong!

Holidaze Pledge

It has started. Actually it started before Halloween. It? Christmas decorations in the stores.

Now I have no trouble with Christmas (although I prefer Yule, but that's a different post). I have trouble when Christmas trumps Thanksgiving. Now Christmas has encroach upon Halloween, I must protest.

Christmas decorating should start on Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving. This allows Thanksgiving to be celebrated in full.

But how will I accomplish this? I'm asking all of you (which is probably about 5 if I'm lucky) to help. Take the pledge:

I WILL NOT BUY ANY CHRISTMAS THEMED ITEMS UNTIL AFTER THANKSGIVING

Please keep in mind, I'm not talking about Christmas presents. So what if a store has sweaters on display. I'm referring to the obvious Christmassy items. Ideally, we should stop shopping at stores that put up the early displays, but since they all do it, we will wait until next year for that.

This is not going to happen overnight. It may take many Christmas seasons for the retailers to realize that we are serious. If you want to expedite the process, you could make a second pledge:

WHEN I ENCOUNTER A CHRISTMAS DISPLAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING, I WILL ASK A SALES PERSON WHERE THE THANKSGIVING THEMED ITEMS ARE, THEN COMPLAIN THAT THEY HAVE A POOR SELECTION, COMPARED TO CHRISTMAS STUFF.

If you would like to join me in this, please leave a comment.

I'm back!

I've decided to reopen my blog. I'm not sure why I stopped, but I did miss it.

So what have I been doing?

First, I haven't been well. I've been averaging a surgery a year. Two years ago they removed my girly-parts, and last year I had knee surgery. Now it looks like they want my tonsils. The surgery I really want is the lap-band bariatric surgery, but I only get enough sick time from work for one surgery a year. I've done all the preliminaries for the lap-band, but I keep having to delay it.

As for work, I'm still employed in an inner city school district IT department. I've been there almost 9 years. It's not a bad job and my boss is terrific.

As for my family, well darling daughter has graduated from high school, and is attending Indiana University of Pennsylvania.


And my family has grown. First, we added a Pomeranian, named Pina Colada.



And most importantly, I have a new daughter who I will call Little Darling. No pictures, because, technically, she isn't mine until the adoption is final. She is legally still a foster child, and according to the law in PA, we are not allowed to publicize any foster kid's picture or name (because we might embarrass the birth family--yeah--I'm not getting into my opinion of that law--the adoption is pending).

She is 10 and just wonderful! It looks like the adoption will be scheduled for either this or the next month!

Anyway, I'm blogging again.

You Know You are Getting Old When.....

No this isn't one of those list-jokes.

Well, yesterday I sat down to lunch and plopped my purse on the table. A co-worker looked into my purse and said, "Hey, is that hand cream?" and reached for something deep inside my shoulder bag. What she had spotted was, in fact, my reading glasses' case.

But still, I looked with fear at what else she might pull out.

Back in my twenties, I would have worried that the item she pulled out would be some sort of birth control.

But, I'm in my 40's. It wasn't condoms I was worried about this time. I was worried it would be my hemorrhoid cream.

I'm officially old.

Too Much Unhappy Insanity

Today we see a world full of unhappy insanity. Between the Virginia Tech Massacre and the soliders killed daily in Iraq, everything seems insane. To make it even worse, the conservative bloggers and commentators have tried to turn the Virginia Tech Massacre into some sort of "pro-gun" thing.

I so wanted to photoshop a pic of the killer with the NRA logo. But I didn't (yet). The part of me that respects the privacy of the victims and survivors prevents me from doing this. However, everyday I read more and more incredibly inaccurate and disturbing things from the right. Have these people no shame? No soul? I'm feeling the urge to do something equally as stupid. But I'm fighting it.

So I have some happy insanity to share with you. Prom time for my daughter. Here is her dress. Isn't she beautiful?

We Grieve with You

In memory of the Virginia Tech shooting victims.

This just creeps me out

This is an old post from February that I never put up on my blog.

A purity ball.

At which, young women pledge their virginity to their fathers. And fathers pledge to protect their daughter's purity. This is a copy of the father's pledge:

The Pledge
I, (DAUGHTER'S NAME)'S FATHER, CHOOSE BEFORE GOD TO COVER MY DAUGHTER AS HER AUTHORITY AND PROTECTION IN THE AREA OF PURITY. I WILL BE PURE IN MY OWN LIFE AS A MAN, HUSBAND AND FATHER. I WILL BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY AND ACCOUNTABLITY AS I LEAD, GUIDE AND PRAY OVER MY DAUGHTER AND MY FAMILY AS THE HIGH PRIEST IN MY HOME. THIS COVERING WILL BE USED BY GOD TO INFLUENCE GENERATIONS TO COME.

Is anyone else creeped out by this? Let's forget about the fact that their don't appear to be any mother/son purity balls. Or father/son ones. So I guess boys don't have to be pure.

I part ways with many feminists when it comes to teenage sexual freedom. While I understand teenage sexual experimentation is normal, I've seen the dark side of it. Kids who think that sex will equal a relationship. Kids who are forced to grow up too fast. Kids who because they are sexually active are ready victims for adult abusers. And of course, disease and pregnancy. I work in an inner city school district, but not as a teacher. I'm a computer technician, yet I still see these young girls who get pregnant just to have someone to love them. In fact, when we went to an electronic record keeping program, we had to contact their support for a patch. Seems you couldn't have a student be a parent of a kindergarten age child. Unfortunately, we have quite a few of them in our district.

But pledging you virginity to your father? It's like he owns the girl's body and wants to keep his property valuable (sort of like people who buy toys and keep them in the box, hoping they will increase in value? Ok, I just completely grossed myself out comparing children to commodities, but that's what it sounds like to me.) until the new owner, husband, is ready to take possession. What kind of person does this to their child? What kind of father puts value on their child this way?

Of course, this entire thing is sponsored by creepy Christians. And not just creepy Christians, but illiterate creepy Christians who can't spell "Accountability".

More on Internet Addictions

Miss Snark also posted on Internet addictions (hers is sudoku). Sudoku was one of mine for a while, but I'm past that now.

My latest internet addiction

I have a new Internet addiction. No, it isn't videos of kinky monkey sex. It is The sentence Game . It is an online version of Eat Poop You Cat. If you aren't familiar with that, it's a party game that is a cross between pictionary and Whisper Down the Alley:

1. First player writes a sentence and passes it to the second player.
2. Second player draws a picture to represent the sentence, then folds the paper so only the picture shows and gives it to the third player.
3. The third player (without seeing the original sentence) creates a caption for the picture, folds the paper so only the caption shows and passes it to the fourth player.
4. It continues until all have played.

If I've confused you, here's a link to a completed game .

This is a fantastic way to increase creativity. I find that it makes a great warm up to my writing. I recommend it to anyone who needs to get their creative energies flowing.

What's really funny is that some of the people there think I'm a sock puppet for a troll named Jake. He is what they call a ruiner and will put up ridiculous sentences and pictures that have nothing to do with the sentence. It cracks me up that I'm accused of being this fellow, and part of me wants to encourage it, while another part just wants to see how far they go.

There is a bit of artistic snobbery. Some of the users are very talented, while the rest of us just use clip art and stick figures. What's funny is that the artists are the opposite side of the coin of the ruiners. While the ruiners divert the game from its natural flow, the artists are too good and there is no ambiguity. It's like playing charades with a mime or pictionary with a commercial artist. That isn't fun.

Using the example in the link, you'll see that someone tried to draw Cthulhu, but the next user thought it was a pac man ghost, so the story took a very silly fork.

For all my writer friends, try this! It really helps to get into the writing groove! Just be careful, or you'll spend all your writing time playing.

But be advised. The graphics can get crude and the players rude.

Happy Goats

This just cracked me up!

Happy Goats

Has it Really Been a Month?

No, it's been more than a month since I last blogged. I'm not sure why, other than I've been trying to get a short story into a contest that has a February 28 deadline. Is it done? No. But I'm off from work today because of the snow, so this is like a free day

And because I've not blogged in so long, I'll keep this short and just give you pictures.

Here is Darling Daughter tubing in our backyard.

And of course, here is Buttercup Beagle.

Now it's time for me to shovel!

Publish America Gets Stung Again!

Anyone who isn't aware, PublishAmerica runs one of the most distasteful writers' scams. If you Google PublishAmerica, you will find a multitude of former PA authors who have had their work hijacked.

What does PA do that is so bad? They are a vanity press in reverse. They print your book, but make it next to impossible to get it onto bookshelves. There is no promotion, marketing, distribution, the prices are outrageous, the editing is nonexistent, and the quality is questionable. And they publish anything.

What makes this a scam is that they claim to be a traditional publisher (a term coined by PA). I'm not going to go into all the details, you can read them at Absolute Write.

But what is funny is that, for a second time, a group of authors have put together a book so bad that it is painful to read. It is titled Crack of Death by Sharla Tan. It was accepted by PA. Done in the same vein as Atlanta Nights by Travis Tea, it was written by several different authors, who only had a brief understanding of the book and what was written before their section. They received a contract for it from PA, but decided to deny it and put it on Lulu as a fundraiser. Here is an except:

All of a sudden Garry felt really protective over this pet-eat young girl who looked like a Cindy doll except with a pear-cede lip. He had to protect her no matter what it cost.

‘Nancy’ he said. ‘You’ve got to get away from Roberto. You don’t know what you’ve got yourself into. Your in grave danger. Tell her Lav!’

‘True, t’ings rough out deh, you know, Rasta.’ said Laverne flashing his gold tooth.

‘It’s true Nancy.’ Whispered Garry with a furrowed brow.

‘Yes alright dad. Just ask me your fucking questions and let me go home damn it!’Garry turned to Laverne.

‘Lav can you get the suitcase.’Laverne left the small dark room his dread locks swinging vilently behind him.They were alone.Garry sighed and stared at Nancy tenderly. ‘

I want to help you Nancy. I’m on your side.’For a split second Nancy could see the truth in his icey pear-sing blue eyes. Garry was a good man she could tell, but how could Roberto be a lying drug barren? She’d seen the pain in his eyes when he’d talked about his sick mother. Roberto where are you?

And another:

Nancy was now pumped full of adrenaline from the exciting chase on the pear, and
so she simply flew along the road as far as the car would carry her, pressing
her dainty foot down on the gas. She remembered the beauty spot Beachy Head, the
memory shot into her thoughts.Beachy Head is the most famous part of the
Eastbourne Downland. Beachy Head and is the highest chalk sea cliff in Britain
and rises 162 metres (530 feet) above the sea below. The main reason for Beachy
Head's popularity is the wonderful panoramic view which can be seen from the
cliff top. If you look east you see the beaches and town of Eastbourne, the Pier
and the Harbour, and then on to Chesapeake Bay and Tokyo and, on an
exceptionally clear day, Kansas City, nearly 40 miles away. Looking west, you
can see even further, up to 70 miles, past Santiago to Toronto and Bangkok and
then on to Nairobi near Amsterdam in West Sussex. On a very clear day the
outline of the Statue of Livery can be seen. But its history reveals a darker
side. Since the 1600s it's been a popular location for suicide attempts.
Eastbourne Parish Register contains entries of deaths at Beachy Head dating back
to 1600 and by the middle of the 20th Century there were an average of 6-7
deaths p.a. At the tail-end of the 1990’s it had crept up to an average of 17
p.a. PA not meaning PA but Per Annum, just in case you were wondering. Between
the years 1965-1989, an in-depth study of deaths at Beachy Head was made by Dr.
John Surtees (1997 pp. 125-136) – a cumulative total of 250. His research looked
into the causes of death, injuries sustained, factors relating to the
circumstances of the deaths and the resultant verdicts. Perfect for me, Nancy
thought thinking over these statistics as she raced along the road, Garry close
on her tail, if only I can shake off that bustard.

I don't see how anyone can say that Publish America isn't really Publish Anything. They are a subsidy publisher and should be avoided. I was almost a victim, but escaped only because a writer who I'm aquainted with was published by PA. This gentleman is a terrible writer, and I knew if they published him, it had to be a scam! I did a little research and found out about it.

If you have been a victim of PA, you should visit Absolute Write's Never Ending Publish America Thread.

Polar Bear Plunge 3

This is the third year that Darling Daughter has done the polar bear plunge. Personally, I think it is insane, however cool.

The air temperature was 59 and the water was 48. A rain squall hit about 20 minutes before the plunge was scheduled, so it felt much colder. Observers and participants were both soaked.

My daughter, of course, was the last one out.

Here are the pics. The quality is poor because of the rain.

Preparing to go in. My daughter is the one on the right, the other is her sister (who doesn't live with us).



In the cold!




After, there were interviewed by the local paper.


All the craziness aside, I do think it's fairly cool for her to do the polar bear plunge every year. I'm quite proud of her.

Tags Polar Bear

Merry Merries!

My favorite Christmas Joke

This is my absolute favorite Christmas Joke. I first heard it back in the early 80's, when it was faxed from office to office (pre-email days).

December 14, 2006
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always,

Agnes

December 15, 2006
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just adorable.

All my love,

Agnes

December 16, 2006
Dear John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens.
They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love,

Agnes

December 17, 2006
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough.
You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,

Agnes

December 18, 2006
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,

Agnes

December 19, 2006
Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps.
So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them?
The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially,

Agnes

December 20, 2006
John:
What's with you and those freaking birds??
Seven swans a swimming. What kind of fucking joke is this?
There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny.
So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely,

Agnes

December 21, 2006
OK. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking?
It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.

Agnes

December 22, 2006
Hey Shithead:
What are you.....some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning.
The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours !

Agnes

December 23, 2006
You rotten jerk::
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies.
They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit.
The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm calling the police on you !

Agnes

December 24, 2006
Listen Shithead:
What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maid and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again.
Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows.
All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

You're sworn enemy,

Agnes

December 25, 2006
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
The destruction, of course, was total.
All correspondence should come to our attention.
If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a restraining order prohibiting you from any contact with our client. Also, we have forwarded this to the ASPCA and PETA, who are interested in the trampling death of the 23 birds.

Cordially,

Law Offices of Dewey,.Cheetum, and Howell

Tags Christmas Jokes

Christmas Songs

There are Christmas songs that I like. There are ones that I hate. And there are ones that are annoying.

But there is only one song that I both love and hate, or course not at the same time.

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree

Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

Now look at those lyrics. This is not a happy song. The person singing is NOT coming home for Christmas, and depending upon your interpretation, may never come home. He is asking that the holiday traditions continue in his absense, giving him some solace in his loneliness.

It is a sad and poignant song; one that reminds that holidays are more than just days off, parties and gifts. It reminds that it is the traditions that holds families together, even when they are not geographically together.

So when this song is sung with a snappy, upbeat rhythm; when the singer is happy; when it implies that the person is actually coming home; I get torqued.

Don't these people listen to the words?

I know the answer, they don't. I also knew someone who played "When a Man Loves a Woman" at their wedding for their first dance.

No surprises here

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

And, Somehow, A Good Day

Depression is a funny thing. (see post below) My daughter told me not worry, because depression is all in my head (she was being serious). Then she said that maybe something good will happen today.

And, of course, she was correct.

I'm published.

Not how I expected, but published is published. My first submission as a free lance writer was published today in one of the local newspapers. Hopefully, this is the first of many pieces they pick up. It's not my novel nor one of my short stories, and journalism is not the same as fiction, but I'm reporting on kids' sports, and my novel is about kids' sports.

But still, it means that someone, other than my mother, likes my writing. And that is a good thing.